TOP 10 THINGS TO DO ON HALLOWEEN
by Rebecca A.Rogers.
by Rebecca A.Rogers.
Decorate your house in plenty of spider webs, carved pumpkins, foggy cauldrons, and creepy ghosts. If these aren’t enough, opt for spiders. You never know when you’ll turn around and run into a web, spluttering and cussing the entire time, further embarrassing yourself because IT’S NOT REAL.
Stock up on candy like the apocalypse is nigh, then eat it all in one sitting. If you’re alone when this happens, GOOD. More for you. If not, well, you should probably share. Sharing is what makes your mama proud.
Take a nap. In a graveyard. By yourself. If you hear something, it’s not your imagination. That really is a ghost.
Have a Halloween movie marathon—minus the third one in the series because it has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of them.
Dress up as the Grim Reaper and stand in the middle of the road, randomly pointing at children and parents as they pass by.
Trick kids into thinking they can help themselves to a bucketful of isolated candy sitting in a spooky mannequin’s lap, when, in reality, the bucket is strategically resting in your lap and you’re about to give the kid reaching for a Snickers the fright of their life.
Convince your friends to join you for a haunted fright-house walk through, then laugh at anyone and everyone who jumps out and tries to scare you. Try to guess where they’ll appear next. Remember: the more obnoxious you are, the more likely it is you’ll be kicked out.
If any older kids—and by this I mean: old enough to drive a car—try to do the whole trick-or-treat thing, just stand deathly still and stare at them until they get the message. DO NOT GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT.
And the number one thing to do on Halloween is: Assemble a team of your closest friends/family members, put on a few pointy hats and long robes, grab a couple of sticks lying around your front yard (or your neighbour’s; it’s whatever), and tell every kid that crosses your path you’re SO sorry, but they just didn’t make it into Hogwarts this year.
Or you could be like me and not do a single thing on Halloween except sit in the dark, frantically praying no kids will come to the front door because you didn’t actually buy any candy.